311-SYB-Best_of_10x_your_Speaking_Skills.mp3: this mp3 audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.
Carol Cox:
If you have in-person speaking engagements coming up this year, or if you’re hosting your own in-person event, you won’t want to miss our conversation on this episode of the Speaking Your Brand podcast. More and more women are making an impact by starting businesses running for office and speaking up for what matters. With my background as a TV political analyst, entrepreneur and speaker, I interview and coach purpose driven women to shape their brands, grow their companies and become recognized as influencers in their field. This is speaking your brand, your place to learn how to persuasively communicate your message to your audience. Hi there and welcome to the Speaking Your Brand podcast. I’m your host, Carol Cox. This episode originally aired last April 2020 to all about how to ten x your speaking skills. This is especially important if you have in-person speaking engagements coming up this year, or if you’re going to be hosting your own in person event of any size. This was originally recorded right after we had held our in-person client retreat speaking intensive last April 2022 in Orlando, Florida. It was so much fun and so transformative give to the women who attended that. I invited two of them to join me on this conversation that was originally held on LinkedIn Live. So you’re going to hear that in the episode, like me calling out people who are in the chat, what we talk about is just as relevant today as more in-person events and conferences are coming back in 2023.
Carol Cox:
If you would like to ten X, you’re speaking skills to take your content and delivery from good to great. You’re going to want to come to our next in person client retreat speaking intensive that were holding at the end of February. Coming up very soon in Orlando, Florida. It’s three days that you spend with us, and on the first day you’re going to be working on your speaking segments that you’re going to film on the third day. So we’re going to help you actually come up with that really compelling opening, that inspiring, closing, how to tell your story in a really compelling manner. And so we’re going to work on the content part of that on day one as well as some practice on our stage. Day two will be primarily focused on practice on our stage so that you really learn how to be completely confident and comfortable on stage, how to have that presence that you want to have, how to use the stage effectively, how to use your body, vocal variation, incorporation of props, engagement with the audience, all those things that really transform you as a speaker.
Carol Cox:
And then on day three, based on all the work we’ve done the prior two days, you’re going to get professional filming of 10 minutes of your speaking segments that you can then use on your speaker reel. This is an incredible opportunity. We had so much fun last time we did it that I can’t wait to do it again. As of the time of this recording, we have about three spots left of 12, so we cap it at 12 women so everyone has plenty of time. You can get all of the details and submit your application by going to speak in your brand retreat again, that speaking your brand dot com slash retreat. And this is coming up February 27, 28th, and March 1st, 2023 in hopefully sunny and probably a lot warmer than where you are. Orlando, Florida. Now let’s get on with the show. Hi everyone welcome to Backstage was Speaking your brand. I’m Carol Cox, founder and CEO speaking your brand. Thank you so much for joining us today. If you are a speaker and you have in-person speaking engagements coming up, or if you’re planning an in-person event, you do not want to miss this conversation we’re having today. Joining me is our lead speaking coach, Diane Diaz.
Diane Diaz:
Hello, everybody.
Carol Cox:
And two of the women who attended our in-person client retreat speaking intensive last week that we held in Orlando, Florida, Betsy Jordan and Joy Spencer. Hi. Hey, Thank you so much for joining us today. And if you are watching on LinkedIn, let us know in the comments. Say hi. You either rather, if you’re watching live or watching the replay, let us know. And we are also happy to take your questions along the way. It has been a very long two years of the pandemic where we have been pretty much speaking virtually, and that has been it. So when we decided to do the client retreat in the spring, we knew we really wanted to focus on in-person delivery because let’s face it, we’re a little rusty, all of us, from having to actually stand in front of people, live in person and deliver our talks versus the comfort of Zoom, which we’ve all gotten used to over the past two years. So that was premise behind the retreat that we held last week. So I want Betsy and Joy to first share the takeaways that they got not only from the experience itself, but also the takeaways they got from the speaking instruction and the coaching. And then later on in the conversation, Diane and I will share from our perspective as planners of the event and as speaking coaches the takeaways that we saw from the women who attended. Joy, I’m going to kick it off with you. Why did you decide you wanted to come to the retreat in the first place?
Joy Spencer:
Well, I realized that it had been two years and I actually had never met you and Diane or. A lot of people at speaking your brand in person. So it was I was like, Yeah, this would be a great opportunity to get back in person. I’ve been meeting up with people in person, you know, friends for brunch because I never missed brunch, but I haven’t done any professional meet ups. And so I was really excited to get a chance to connect and work on the speaking that I’ve been doing on the podcast and on webinars to work on it live. Because as you know, I started working with you just before the pandemic hit and I was supposed to go on the road and find live places and it happened. And I’ve never actually had a chance to do live speaking events from the time that I started working with you. So I was really looking forward to that opportunity to do that and to get put on film.
Carol Cox:
Joy is the host of the podcast called Reframe to create an excellent podcast, highly recommend it. And Joy is also a storytelling coach of her own.
Joy Spencer:
Yes, I am Betsy Jordan.
Carol Cox:
Betsy has a podcast called Enough Already, another fantastic podcast, and Betsy is what I call a brand whisperer. She is so good at really getting to the essence of who you are as a brand and how you can bring your strengths and your gifts to the work that you do. Betsy Why did you decide to come to our retreat last week?
Betsy Jordyn:
First off, thanks for the compliment, especially from speaking to your brand and the former brand teacher. So I definitely take that. So what I’ve been struggling with in terms of like my career trajectory or my business trajectories, I’ve been hovering at that expert place for a long time and I wanted to kick over because to me, I’ve spoken, I’ve spoken to large audiences, but in a training sort of way or a facilitation stored away. And I know that there’s just there’s a different kind of vulnerability where you’re telling your own story and you’re up on that kind of stage where you’re just not hiding behind your knowledge and everything else. So I knew I needed a container to continue to kick me up to that next level and to understand how to share what I want to share from a storytelling sort of way rather than a well, let me tell you my three points to whatever which I could do in my sleep. But let me tell you about why I care about these three points. Like, okay, I want to die.
Carol Cox:
And for those of you who are watching us right now, let us know in the comments if you can relate to this idea of feeling like you’re really comfortable being the expert and sharing your strategies and your tips, but maybe haven’t had as much experience or haven’t done as much storytelling in your speeches and your presentations. Joy, let me go back to you. During the instruction that we provided over those two days and the speaking coaching during the practice, what do you feel like you learned the most about in-person delivery?
Joy Spencer:
Well, I had three major takeaways from the entire retreat. One was about voice, and it’s that your voice is not just in your throat or in your mouth, it’s your entire body. And I got that from when we did the improv work. So we had a chance on the first day to do some improv tips. And as soon as you said, Yeah, we’re going to do some improv, I was like, Okay, great, thanks. You know, I was not was not excited about the improv at all, but we really got into it and we really got into the physicality of delivering and communicating what you’re sharing and your message. And I feel like that carried through for me and for a lot of us. Once we all stood on the stage and were using our bodies, whether folks were being more active or doing more acting. But just motion on the stage was a way to really embody the message of what we were sharing. So I was like, okay, so voice is not just about your audible voice, but it’s also your physicality that you’re bringing to it. So that was one major thing that I got from the Improv. Then the second major thing I got from the retreat was about feedback and how feedback is transformative and communal. We tend to think of feedback as something like, okay, this is a transaction.
Joy Spencer:
Someone is just giving me something or I’m giving someone some feedback. But once you’re in the setting that we were in where you got to be in a community for a short couple of days and see your feedback show up and transform that person and transform that talk and you get really invested. It was like, Oh, feedback can be this very positive, affirming, communal and transformative experience. So that was, I think, a gift that we got and gave to each other. And last but not least, the major thing that I learned is that storytelling is still queen, though. And I know I’m biased as a storytelling coach, but really, seriously, once you get storytelling, personal stories, your story somebody else’s story as a foundation, as a base for your talk or your your concept or anything like that, it really is solid and something powerful to build anything and everything else on top of that. So you I think that if I, if I would encourage anyone who’s who’s somehow about their stories to trust your story, your story has all the nuggets, all the gold in it that you can pull on it, build on it with other sort of stuff and facts. So those were my three main takeaway voice feedback and storytelling.
Carol Cox:
Perfect joy. Thank you so much. And before I ask Betsy what her takeaways were. Betsy, how did you feel about the improv games?
Diane Diaz:
I love the improv games. I just. I made a comment because that it seemed like I was against it because I was improvising. So I was just trying to say something. No, I loved it. I love improv games and I’ve always watched Whose Line Is It Anyway? But it was fun to be able to practice it and I realized I’m not that funny. So that was good. So it was really good. I loved it.
Carol Cox:
All right. So yeah, the improv, the reason that I had you all do the improv games was one, just to kind of move our bodies around and move our energy around and and to get to know each other a little bit better in a kind of a fun way. And then also, as the joy said, the physicality of it as speakers. And for those of you who came to the retreat, those of you who listen to the Speaking Year brand podcast, in our community, a lot of us tend to be very much in our heads. We’re logical, analytical, we’re strategic, we create great content, we know our strategies, we know our expertise. And so we tend to live in our heads and therefore we tend to speak from our heads instead of getting into our bodies and literally embodying our message and then sharing that energy with the audience, which is why I have found improv to be so valuable and recognizing that I have this whole other part of myself that can be used to transmit my message beyond just what’s in my head. Betsy What were your key takeaways from the instruction and coaching that you got?
Diane Diaz:
Well, I would echo what Joy said and what you just said, this whole idea of embodying the message, but I feel like we got that from the Improv. But also your coach, who you had, I just lost her name.
Carol Cox:
Oh, Pooja Madon.
Diane Diaz:
Yes. To me that was hugely impactful. Like kind of talking through like your audience is already there, it’s handpicked for you and that that you have an obligation in some ways to share your message. So there was something about the combination of the improv and that message where I stopped caring if I did it wrong or I’m not as seasoned in terms of storytelling is I’m just going to take where I’m at right now and just go like one step further. Like, I don’t want I don’t need to get like substantially better. Like I’m not going to be to Joy’s level. Joy’s, by the way, is an amazing storyteller. Oh, my gosh. She’s like, she’s hashtag storyteller goals. You know, she’s that person. And I’m okay that I’m not at Joy’s level. I just wanted to be a little bit better than where I was at. And so that’s where that embodying the message just gave me a more realistic expectations of like, well, where is my starting point in terms of storytelling? So that was like one big takeaway. The second is learning through example. So I luckily got to go last when we were doing our recording and it seemed like I was just doing it because it’s like, okay, I don’t want to show up.
Diane Diaz:
But it was like I was learning from all the examples. And so there was something about like seeing example after example, like, okay, that’s what it looks like. There’s one thing to have like the theory around this is what it looks like that I, you know, the voice framework of the what’s the framework that we’re talking about? I’m sorry, it’s like one of those days where I lost my brain cells, but it’s like, you know, the framework that we were talking about with the idea story that we were trying to bring all the elements. It’s and seeing it on a piece of paper or seeing it, something like that, but then seeing one person after the other and how they did that, it’s like, oh, so that’s what you mean by that when you say props, this is what that means when you’re using humor or using something else or trying to say, Well, place yourself in that story. That’s when it all came to life for me. And then the third big takeaway is when you’re in a growth container for your business, I don’t think that our business development is isolated to our business. I realize, like what my core message is and that it’s like, I believe, like these work related crossroads or pushing yourself in a work related scenario is that if you if you push yourself here, you’re going to push yourself there.
Diane Diaz:
So I’ve always been this person where I could almost like I felt like they had gum on my mouth where it’s like I couldn’t pull the gum out all the time I ever have, like one of those dreams where it’s like, you have, like, all the gum in your mouth. And it’s like, as I developed as a person, it’s like trying to pull the gum out of my mouth. But I do a professional development experience piece that is teaching me something, but it’s about me growing as a human being, growing in my own healing. You know something about the managing your energy and managing your energy on stage. Like, well, that’s a that’s a principle. Like, I’ve been thinking so much about it. Like, well, how am I showing up with my fiance and my, my daughter and, you know, and other people in my house? Like, this isn’t about just this. If I can speak my brand using your phraseology, I can speak my truth. I can speak my truth in a lot of other areas.
Carol Cox:
Thank you. Best for that. So well said. I have always thought about the work that we do around public speaking is really as much personal development as it is. Professional development, of course, is the skill building, the practical skill building that goes on. But there’s so much of the the growth, like you mentioned, a growth container and so much personal growth that happens through during doing this work. Diane Now as a speaking coach and of course being integral to speaking your brand and then. Being at the retreat, what were your takeaways that you saw as the speakers developed over those two days?
Diane Diaz:
Yeah, well, so many takeaways. And I just want to say we put on something for speakers to give our clients something, but I think I got as much or more out of it as they did. One of my main takeaways was the importance of that. Like Joy said, feedback, this idea that but on the spot coaching that we did right. So yes, we have Zoom sessions with our clients. We do this work virtually something shifts when we are in person and all together and then you’re getting feedback not just from us as coaches but also from each other, supporting one another and just the support. There’s something that shifts in the women I feel from the time they practice their speech or just had the idea for it until they actually delivered it for the recording of it. Something definitely shifted and it was just that such a high level. It was amazing to me. So the value of that in person component was evident. The other thing was the importance of just those reflective moments. Even in a talk or even when we’re working on the talk, when we’re practicing, when we’re giving feedback, the moments of just pausing and the power that that has to just be quiet for a minute. So it has a lot of power in just reflecting on on the talk that you’re creating, but also when you’re delivering it, there’s power in it that impresses upon the audience, whatever the point is that you’re trying to make.
Diane Diaz:
So it has quiet, has so much power, but I think we forget that because we’re literally speaking, right? So we forget that quiet has power, too. So that was one of my big takeaways from that. And also as an introvert, I grew obviously accustomed to being home all the time, working from home, not seeing people. And I’m an introvert, so it wasn’t that bad. I’m like, I kind of like this. But I will say that being in a group, a small group of women who I’m just who I so admire, each and every one of them being in that group for two days with them, I felt so much more energy than I thought that I would feel. Yes. Was I exhausted when it was all over with? Yes. But during those two days, the amount of energy that I had, I was kind of surprised by that because I am an introvert and I just thought that it would just completely zap me even throughout the event. But the amount of energy that I had during that time is just testament to the amazingness of the women that are in the Thought Leader Academy and the clients that we have and the ones that came to the to the retreat. It was just, just amazing to me how that energized me.
Carol Cox:
Same. And we didn’t get that much sleep leading up to it because of the adrenaline and the energy anticipating it. And I just loved being with you all so much with all of the women who were there and felt the energy and how supportive that you all were of each other and encouraging and helpful And just like like it warms my heart how much you all bonded together. And because Diane and I, of course, know all of you from working with you, but many of you didn’t know each other and maybe maybe you knew one or two other women, but you were able to bond really quickly. And so I loved seeing that. And I would say my main takeaways as far as thinking about seeing you all in action in the speaking practice and then in the the formal filming was that you took our feedback and incorporated it right away. And I loved seeing that, that you were you were very coachable and you were willing to try new things, even things that maybe felt a little uncomfortable initially. But then you could you saw from the other women that they tried things. You’re like, Oh, maybe I could try that too. And you did that. The power of the pause that Diane mentioned.
Carol Cox:
Given your audience a couple of beats that take things in. Maybe repeating something that’s really important to let it sink in. Love the power of the pause and that also everyone has a different speaking style and that’s okay. And to embrace whatever your natural speaking style is and then to amplify it because you are speaking to a group on a stage. So you need to amplify whatever your natural speaking style is, but you don’t have to try to be someone that you’re not. We started the day, the first day with some instruction about different speaking styles, and I showed clips from women like Amy Cuddy, Shonda Rhimes, some comedians, Lilly Singh, who’s a YouTuber. They all have very different styles, and they’re all equally effective because they embrace their natural style. And we saw that with the women who attended. They all had different styles, but they embraced it and then ran with it versus trying to be someone that they’re not. All right, Joy, let me come back to you. When you when you finished up the filming. We’re kind of ending the second day of the retreat. What do you want to do next as far as when you think about yourself as a speaker and as a thought leader?
Joy Spencer:
Well, I definitely want to get on more stages and want to speak more. I felt like the act of speaking and getting it out there was transformative in the sense that getting the feedback, the specific feedback from those who are participating. But I know that you get feedback from your audience. You get feedback from people whenever you share your message. So I definitely wanted to I want to take the opportunity to get on more podcast, be more of a podcast guest, but also get on on stages. And actually something that came up for me today was also finding another container, which interestingly enough, I don’t know how this connects, but I actually am thinking about thinking more about writing a book. And so it’s just another way of using my voice and continuing to get the message out there. And books are a great method for also engaging in speaking and speaking, getting into more speaking rooms and getting more speaking opportunities. So I was definitely inspired to do more of this and practice it more and just, you know, just work out the kinks and be more committed to the message. Because I feel like what this experience gave me was more confidence in the in the rightness of the message that I’m sharing and that this is the message that I’m meant to share. And so it was definitely a moment of recommitting. So it was just awesome to have that experience and feel like on the other side of it, I want to do more of it.
Carol Cox:
A book. Can’t wait to hear more about that.
Joy Spencer:
No, no, no timeline on that. Remember how things went with the podcast, right?
Diane Diaz:
Oh, I know.
Carol Cox:
I love external deadlines. Give me a due date, Joy. Not so much. I’m like, okay, how about this date? She’s like, Nope.
Joy Spencer:
I’m going to do it years later. But it will happen.
Diane Diaz:
But you have. And I know it happened.
Carol Cox:
All right, Betsey, what about you? You’re thinking about wrapping up day two. What? How do you see yourself as a speaker and a thought leader going forward?
Betsy Jordyn:
I was thinking the same thing is I have a I have a decent network, but I haven’t really tapped it for speaking opportunities. So one of the growth edges or the growth opportunities simply to reach out to people that I know and say, Hey, I’m developing in this area and just to practice and a practice in a new way, I think that that would be something. And to the guest podcast in the same sort of more of a focus sort of effort rather than like, Oh yeah, you asked me that kind of thing. I definitely want to write a book. I’ve always wanted to write a book for the past ten years. That’s or longer than that, 20 years. I’ve always wanted to write a book, but I’ve always been confused on what should my book be about. So I feel like through the speaking experience, you know, how many iterations have I gone back and forth with you all around? Like, what is my big idea? What is my story? And it’s like, I think I keep saying the same thing over and over again. It’s just a matter of refining it. So I think that this would be a good way to back into it. You know, writing a book probably, maybe not the commercially published, but writing a book would be more of my comfort zone. And I think that the idea of pushing myself in more of a verbal type of communication rather than a written communication has been really helpful. And and learning these new containers, like I had no idea until I was in the Thought Leader Academy how much I was going to love podcasting. I adore podcasting. It’s so much fun. I love the interviews. All of my qualitative research or geeky side comes out. So I think that there’s opportunities just to play around with content and formats.
Carol Cox:
Yes, we love podcasting for sure, and it’s a great way to keep honing your message and to keep getting yourself out there. So Joey mentioned recommitment and commitment, and that is one thing that I walked away with last week is I feel even more committed in what I would call convicted in the work that we do as speaking your brand to help more women get their message out there. Use their voice, have a public voice, have a public presence, because I saw your messages, your stories, and how important they are to your audiences that are waiting for them. As Pooja said during her session with us, your audience is waiting. For you. You are doing a service to them by being there to share your message and to share your story with them. And I love that. So this idea of your audience is waiting for you and making a commitment to yourself that this is what you want for yourself and for them as well. All right. So I want to shout out here to some of our commenters. So Katie Anderson was with us last week as well, and she said that she is working on integrating more personal storytelling into her keynotes and her talks, which she has been doing a great job on doing that. And then Monica Pierre says that she loves the power of the pause, gives the brain a chance to catch up with your points. Absolutely. Diane, as the planners of this event and obviously as the host and facilitators of this event, for those who are watching or listening, who are also planning in-person events for this year and probably smaller ones. So we had 12, about 12 to 15 women there between us, the team and then the attendees. So it was definitely a small, intimate group, which we like because we’re introverts and it was just the right size. But I know that there’s people out there who are planning much larger events. But if you think about some of the smaller events, where were your biggest kind of lessons as far as planning the event?
Betsy Jordyn:
Well, one of the things that I know that you looked at, Carol, was that book, The Art of Gathering. And so being very intentional about how we bring the women together, what we do, what we’re together activities. And so not just letting it be kind of loosey goosey and it doesn’t have to be super duper structured. But I think having having an intention behind not just what we wanted them to accomplish, which was this practice or talk and then get your talk on video, but also the intention of connecting with one another. The exercises we did to kind of get into your body and get a little more, more movement, even the dance breaks and having a playlist and.
Joy Spencer:
The music was definitely fun. Yeah.
Diane Diaz:
You know, you loved them. Betsy, Don’t lie. Yes. All of those things. I think the intentionality behind it, I think is really important. So I think it’s important to sit down as a team when you’re planning an event and think about what do you want it to be, how do you want the people to connect? What do you want them to get out of it, aside from the main objective, which was the recording. But I think that is one of the things that ended up making it such a powerful gathering is we really were intentional about how we gathered.
Carol Cox:
Yes. I’m so glad you mentioned that, Diane. And what happened was I read through The Art of Gathering, which I had read several years ago, but I went back to it. And then as I was preparing the agenda as far as the details for those two days, I put at the top with what the purpose of this whole event was for, like, why were we doing this? And the purpose I put was to help those who were coming to believe in themselves as a speakers they want to be, and as the speakers they know they can be. So yes, we’re giving them very practical instruction and feedback. We really wanted to kind of cement in you all the belief that you can do this and that we need you to do this. We need you out there as a woman with a public voice. And then what I did is I printed out we have this like attendees at a glance page that was in the workbook that we ended up creating and handing out. But I had created this page ahead of time and I printed this out. And as I was working on things for the retreat, I looked at the women who were on here and said, We are doing this for them. That is my focus. And that just helped so much to kind of step away from the kind of the logistics which is important, but really think more about the feeling and the transformation that we wanted to happen. And Diane mentioned like the dance breaks and things. So we had an agenda. We kind of knew what we wanted to cover hour by hour. But as the host and the same thing for us speakers, you also have to be tuned to the energy of the room.
Carol Cox:
So I could tell as where we planned lunch to start at noon. It was around 11:30 a.m. on day one. I was like, I’m feeling the energy kind of sap a little bit. I know mine is. I can kind of sense it from the room. So let’s wrap up what we’re doing and let’s go ahead and start lunch at 1145 instead of at noon. So just being mindful of what your audience needs. Do they need some reflective alone time or do they need that dance party to bring the energy back up? So that’s one thing just to keep in mind, again, as as a speaker, as a host, as you go along. All right. So any final thoughts before we wrap up for today? Oh, let me say one thing before we do that. So I had joked around for the past couple of months that are we going to do another event? Because obviously event planning is a lot of work and Diane and I are not we do not love event planning. Some people love it. We do not love it. We love the being there. This is why we’re speakers, because we like showing up at other people’s events where everything is already done. But I will say we loved it so much. We were definitely going to be doing another event early next spring, probably late February or early March. So we will definitely be doing another one because we’ve seen the impact being in person and giving, getting that on the spot coaching and feedback and getting that practice makes someone wrote on their feedback form because of course we handed out feedback forms at the end that it really they felt like it ten next.
Carol Cox:
By being in person and being able to do that versus just on Zoom. So we know the power of this. So we’re excited to bring this to you again next spring. All right. Betsy had to leave, but Betsy, thank you so much for being here and for sharing your experiences. Make sure everyone to connect with Betsy on LinkedIn. Joy Spencer, thank you so much for being here as well. Be sure to connect with Joy on LinkedIn and listen to both of their podcasts. Diane, thank you as always for for being here and for all the incredible work that you do with our clients and internally for speaking your brand. So what do you think? Are you ready to join us in Orlando, Florida, at the end of February? Go to speaking your brand retreat again, that’s speaking your brand retreat. To get all the details and to submit your application. I must say that just myself, having gone through the client retreat that we did in April of 2020, to kind of getting back on a stage, practicing in front of people prepared me so much for the in-person speaking engagements I had that fall. I just felt so much more comfortable in my body on that stage. It felt natural and just kind of shaking off those cobwebs that had been accumulating in the few years prior to that. I would love for you to join us. Go to speaking your brand retreat to get all the details until next time. Thanks for listening.
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